She volunteered that she positioned the tag so that it was “close to her heart.” Whatever. All I can say is that men have told me that provocatively placed name tags were awkward for them.

If you see a name tag that is a good candidate for this article, snap a picture with your phone (so handy now!), and send it in (mjs@MindySelinger.com) Enjoy!

<== She has a great smile, but is it enough to raise his eyes up from her chest?

<== This is to show you that MEN can also show questionable judgment in nametag placement. Sure, this guy is 6′11″ so his beltline is a bit higher than the average, but what was he thinking?

Ask a group of people ‘What is Networking?” and most people will say it’s about building relationships. Yesterday I commented on a LinkedIn discussion where everyone agreed that the most important component of networking was “it’s not about you, it’s about them”. Fine, but does that reflect the reality of most of your networking event encounters?

Do you ever get the feeling that people are waiting for you to stop talking about your stuff so they can sell you their stuff? Ahhh…..the dirty little secret of networking events. Aren’t we all just a tiny bit guilty…once in a while?

We are in business to make money and to support ourselves and our families. When we have not been taught a better way, our default MO (Method of Operation) is to tell everyone about how great our product of service is, and hope they buy, or tell us who they know who would buy. We are very passionate about what we do (we shouldn’t be in business if we aren’t). With that in mind here are some of the common blunders people make at networking events.

1. Only showing up when they have a sales deadline. You never see them unless they have a product promotion to pitch, a sales contest to win or a class to fill. Their only relationship they are interested in is your being their customer
2. Bringing flyers and putting them on all of the tables without asking permission of the host. The Social Networking counterpart is dropping into a discussion to give a promotional introduction or to promote your product/service as the solution to the topic being discussed (supplying a link to your website is even worse).
3. Adding people to their mailing list without permission. Some people make the assumption that because they had a conversation with you at a chamber mixer, that implies permission to start sending all of their updates. The Social Networking counterpart to this is the actual blurring of the boundaries of Social & Business Networking. Who is a social contact? Who is a business contact? Who are both? If I live in California, why is an invitation to an event in another state clogging my inbox? It’s just another thing to delete.
4. Viewing people as stepping stones. They could be looking for your manager to pitch or your hiring HR person, but they want your contacts…now. They don’t care about you or your networking needs once they learn that you might be a “gateway” to someone they need to meet. In the Social Networking World, the ability to see the network of others is a huge benefit, but it can be easily be abused. Tread lightly.

Some people have cited the “pitchfest” atmosphere of some events as the reason they’ve dropped out of the larger networking scene, preferring smaller events with less pressure.
Networking events & opportunities come in all shapes, sizes, flavors & interests. There is truly something for everybody. Take a look at your motives & actions and see if you may be just a tiny bit (or maybe hugely) guilty to some of the behavior listed here.

What are your networking pet peeves? I’m sure I just scratched the surface here. We would love your comments.

We keep unearthing new (to us) networking organizations!  Today I learned of RE:FOCUS on Careers based in Atlanta, Georgia. Their basic membership is free and they offer open networking events such as happy hours and educational monthly meetings with speakers who talk on relevant business topics.

I learned of them when their Florida Regional Director, Mike Paim requested to join the LinkedIn Group I started for networking organization owners & managers – Networking Industry Professionals.

From the website it looks like he is starting Referral Groups in Florida, as well.  They have events in Georgia, Florida, Illinois, Arkansas, and elsewhere. Check them out.

If you are in a networking group that is not on the local NEF calendar, add it & tell us about it!

No relationship begins by getting. In the business relationship process, you must “lead by example”. In other words, you go first. Show them how it’s done.

“Wow” them from the start by showing up at your first appointment with a gift. Make it something that will help their business. Research their company and peruse their online communities to get a feel for their passions & pastimes. I like to give books; The Four-Hour Work Week², & The Art of the Business Lunch³ are two of my favorites: (in addition to the one you are reading now). What’s new, hot & current? Your research may spark a perfect gift idea and it will show your new connection that you do, indeed, listen and take note. This small gesture will make a HUGE impression, and you will stand out in the crowd.

Receiving Is The Offspring Of Giving

This is an excerpt from the book Face-to-Face Networking Skills in a Social Media World by Mindy Selinger. To download a free preview visit MindySelinger.com

The Women’s Conference continues to grow every year. California’s First Lady Maria Shriver heads this dynamic event and past speakers have included; former Prime Minister Tony Blair, Oprah Winfrey, Bono, Sir Richard Branson, Katie Couric, Warren Buffet, Thomas Friedman, Diane von Furstenberg, Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger Dr. Jane Goodall, Her Majesty Queen Rania, Caroline Kennedy, Alicia Keys, Heidi Klum, Elizabeth Edwards, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Annie Leibovitz, Her Majesty Queen Noor, Indra Nooyi, Michelle Obama, Dr. Mehmet Oz, former Secretary of State Madeleine K. Albright Sandra Day O’Connor, Jennifer Lopez Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, Martha Stewart, Barbara Walters and Muhammad Yunus.

Do you want to be an Architect of Change within your sphere of influence? Join them in October!

The Women’s Conference 2010

Taking your networking efforts to the next level requires shift to NetBeing™

Handing out your business card at monthly Chamber of Commerce meetings no longer qualifies as networking. Today’s business leaders know that real, profit-generating networking requires more. More strategy, more connectedness, and more trust. I’d suggest we’re moving into an era where the relationship-based NetBeing, a set of attitudes and actions that foster real meaningful business relationships and build mutual trust, will overtake networking as a business development strategy. Adapting to this new strategy brings its share of challenges but it can also yield great rewards. Partnerships form more easily. Sales and retention increases. Profits grow faster. After all success in business is all about relationships.

Consider the following:
• It’s more difficult for you to get a chance to do business with a client when your competition has better customer relationships.
• When surveyed customers who are most satisfied also state they have a strong relationship with their solutions provider. This fact is consistent even when service quality is below industry averages.
• The odds of selling a product to a customer that you have no relationship with are less than half what they are to those with strong ties.
Even the most aggressive networking has limitations. We must move our mindset beyond networking to NetBeing. One of the key differences between networking and NetBeing is seen in the way relationships are viewed. Networking relationships are situational and transactional. NetBeing relationships, on the other hand, are ongoing and collaborative. By their very nature, networking relationships will end and NetBeing relationships continue long afterward. The relationship simply shifts. And, as we’ve seen above, that ongoing relationship can add future profits to the bottom line. NetBeing also goes beyond networking to focus on mutual success and transforming networking contacts to a relationship that is mutually supportive, purposeful, creative, and rewarding. It’s the concept of giver’s gain – by sharing your knowledge, skills, and connections with others, you will eventually be rewarded several times over. The real benefit of the NetBeing approach is that it forces us to start thinking of relationships strategically. We must consider the various ways we can add value to the relationship and how those relationships evolve over time. RelationShift, consequently, has come to mean re-identifying the existing relationship as it flows into something else or changing your mindset and views of an existing relationship. For example, a former client takes a new job with one of your vendors. The way you work with them and add value to the relationship will necessarily change. Your respect for each other and willingness to work together shouldn’t change. In short, think of networking as something you do to people some of the time and in some places. Meanwhile, NetBeing is something you do with people all the time and everywhere. That shift in your thinking and behavior will help you succeed as you help others to do so.

Ron Sukenick is recognized as one of the nation’s leading experts on the art and impact of networking. His strategies teach professionals how to develop and maintain business relationships that far exceed the typical networking experience. He is a business coach, author, and a dynamic speaker whose interactive approach offers strategies participants can immediately apply. Ron’s philosophy of relationship strategies provides a blueprint for anyone who wants to take their business and their network to the next level. Learn more about Ron Sukenick and his innovative approach to networking through his FREE monthly newsletter .

Then take a look into Women on Course Networking Group.

Donna, a former TV producer, was a golf widow and a ’single mom’ during her first marriage. It wasn’t until after her marriage to a golfer with a ‘2 handicap’ that she got hooked on the game and the lifestyle that goes along with the game; The golf dates with friends and potential clients, sitting around talking and drinking wine in the clubhouse after a game and the relaxing spa atmosphere that she came to cherish at the golf resorts she visited. “A lot of women never consider golf because they don’t understand its benefits,” she said. They schedule lunch dates, join book clubs and go to yoga classes and job-related networking events because they enjoy the contact with other women and believe they are getting something substantive from the experiences. “But golf offers the same things, if they only knew it.”

Donna realized that women see golf as a lifestyle, rather than a game. A lifestyle with deep and rich business and personal relationships, exercise and burning calories, getting outside and enjoying nature and quality time with friends and family all at once! Women on Course was founded in 2006 after Donna Hoffman discovered the beauty of the golf lifestyle; the socializing and camaraderie of playing the game and the networking and fun of relaxing at the clubhouse with a glass of wine after a round. Donna is creating events where women come together, enjoy all these wonderful benefits and build business relationships in the non threatening environment of golf clinics, nine hole scrambles, wine tasting and golf fashion.

According to Barrons (March 30, 1998 cover story: “Investing in Golf”) The game of golf is synonymous with “big business,” and is one of the most effective tools for the networking and deal making in the modern business world. An estimated 90% of Fortune 500 CEO’s play golf, one quarter of the 25 million golfers in the U.S. are top management executives and a full 80% of that number agreed that the game of golf is an important business development tool. Rachel M. Galusha, Vice President and Senior Business Relationship Manager with HSBC Bank USA, has been playing golf for the past three years and was pragmatic about her decision to take up the sport: I’ve noticed that for women in business, if you didn’t play golf you weren’t included. One female colleague who played was always included. I made a New Year’s resolution to learn how to play and encouraged my colleagues to do the same. Playing in the outings that the bank sponsors and customers sponsor is essential to creating relationships and doing business.

Golf For Women editor Susan Reed defines it as “basically, an x-ray into someone’s character in four hours,” and provides a persuasive list of benefits: We live in such a busy, stressful world where everyone is multi-tasking. It’s very rare that anybody spends four hours with another person these days, colleagues or family. And that’s four uninterrupted hours, free of cell phones and blackberries (which are prohibited on golf courses). If you think about it, a business meeting or a sales call or a business lunch usually lasts an hour at most. A round of golf lasts four hours; you talk about each others’ families, about work, about attitudes towards business and life. You can see whether someone is honest by the way they keep their score; whether they’re considerate and alert and socially gracious by the way they play the game.

“The most important thing at our events is being with other women, not the golf itself. The golf is something for them to bond around and have fun together with and use to de-stress.” At the Golf Experience events beginners receive some basic instruction about the rules and etiquette of golf (including some important advice on what to wear) and then some instruction in the game itself. Newcomers say the game is harder than it looks, but the Women on Course instructors were wonderful and patient. Allison Queensborough said of her first time playing, “I felt very comfortable. It was really fun.”

If a golf experience sound like something your networking group would like to do, contact Donna Hoffman, info@womenoncourse.com . She’ll set up an exclusive event just for your group.

As I was cruising the web – o – verse, I came upon a great publication all about Business Networking!

The National Networker is both a newsletter as well as website portal for all Networking activity throughout the United States. Subscribers can read about Networking success by geographic area, profession or general interest without the hype, nonsense or sensationalism.  Additionally, The National Networker provides information and resources to both business as well as membership-based organizations.

It has a lot of great articles about business networking the who, what and how. Lots of great tips and hints to make your business networking more effective and fun. Check them out at http://www.thenationalnetworker.com

There’s any number of reasons to go to a business networking event:

• To hear a speaker or topic which interests you
• To meet prospective clients
• To catch up with a number of business associates and friends in one place (it’s a lot easier than arranging a lot of lunch dates!)
• To support a charity – particularly if they are fund raising and it a charity you care about
• To support the organizers if they are friends, clients or starting a new business networking group

Most of these reasons are pretty self-explanatory. However how do you know if prospective clients are going to be at the business networking event you are going to? Here are a few ways to find out:

• Trial and error – go to a couple and see what sort of people attend (this can sometimes be costly in terms of time and money)
• Go where your target market goes – for example, you have a handyman business, you may want to target business networking meetings held at the Board of Realtors office, Realty offices and at senior communities  (these should be some of your target markets)
• Call the organizer and find out what businesses and professions have attended their business networking events in the past
• Ask on Twitter or FaceBook if anyone has been to the networking event, what they thought, and what type of people were there – the people who reply will also be a good indication of attendees.

How do you choose what business networking events you go to? And what are your favorites?

Many business networking events have a slot where you have to introduce yourself to the group. People can get so wrapped up in this that they think this is what business networking is all about and spend ages trying to craft the perfect ‘elevator pitch’. Forgetting that time is better spent in building relationships.

I was asked by someone last week for feedback on their pitch as they were not getting much out of their business networking. When I asked what else he was doing in the way of helping others and following up there was a long pause in the conversation!

As long as you are able to express your proposition confidently & consistently when asked that is enough. The important elements are your target market, the problems you solve and your stories.

In my top 10 networking tips I explain the really important things to spend time on. Finding other business people who operate in similar markets to you. Then helping them and building relationships to earn the trust that is vital in business networking success.

Good Networking!